When you’re not feeling well or feel like you’ve never done anything right, have you ever wondered and asked yourself “Why am I not good enough?” There are several factors that make you feel that way. Some of them:
- Feeling that you shouldn’t do anything
- Haunted by mistakes in the past
- Feeling that other people are always better than you
- Feeling undeserved of kindness
- Fear of mistakes for your actions
As you delve deeper into negative thoughts, you become more and more convinced that you are not good enough. You may disappoint the people around you or even yourself. Finally, you choose to stop talking and choose to be alone.
If that’s a fact, it’s time we put an end to it all. Let’s start the action to clean all these negative thoughts and see you further.
Right now you are a person who wants to be happy. You want to be free from feelings of guilt and feelings of not being good enough. You also want to be yourself without the intervention of others.
The basis of this process is taking the right steps. Start with simple things like asking yourself these 5 questions.
When and Under What Conditions Do I Start Asking “Why Am I Not Good Enough?”
Sometimes we don’t want to go back to remembering the past because some of them were quite painful. But believe me, studying our past is the best way for us to live happily in the future. Therefore, we ask you to find out when you started asking “Why am I not good enough?”
What happened to you at that time? Do you have problems with your family? Haven’t you forgiven yourself yet? Have you ever felt humiliated, betrayed, or rejected?
Some of the statements above can be reasons you start to feel not good enough. It doesn’t directly affect your psychology but gradually until you start to realize these feelings after letting them go for a long time.
Marie Forleo once stated a psychological condition regarding this feeling and associated it with perfectionism
“Perfectionism is a manifestation of a feeling of not being good enough. It is not the result of a desire for high standards. Perfectionism is born of a fear of failure, a fear of being thought stupid, a fear of ridicule, a fear of being judged, or even a fear of criticism”
Having the thought “Am I not good enough” may also be your shield from the pain that may come. Feelings like that will make you feel safe by not doing much and being alone. Besides that, these feelings will also make you a perfectionist as I mentioned above.
Feelings of fear of acceptance and fear of other things will make you think “if only I could be like this or I could do this, then I would be satisfied with myself”. This will be a burden and pressure on your physique.
Believe In Your Own Power
We believe in your own strength. Based on the experience of many people, it is indeed not easy to get rid of the feeling of wanting to always look for one’s own shortcomings. However, we always believe in you because many people are capable.
Everyone has the right to get the happiness they deserve, including you. You have the right to be released from the shackles of the dark past and other people’s pressure. You have the right to the love and acceptance you deserve.
Find the origin of the “Why am I not good enough” feeling and begin to eliminate the origin of the negative feelings that make it up. Begin to forgive yourself and focus on getting to a happy future.
Have You Talked To Your Friends Like You Talk To Yourself?
“You look like you need to lose some weight”
“No one else likes you”
“Looks like you don’t need to waste time applying there, you won’t be a good fit for the job”
“Don’t get your hopes up on your date, he’s too good for you”
Have you ever said that to your best friend? Certainly never because those words would hurt her. A good friend will do the best for his friend. They will help each other, give enthusiasm and good motivation. They will help their friends achieve their dreams.
Now imagine you are motivating yourself by giving words of encouragement to your friend. Just as you would never say anything bad to your friend, say something nice to yourself too. What we need to do is hone the habit so that it sticks in our heads.
You can start by being aware of your every word and thought. Do you often ask “why am I not good enough” either explicitly or in other words?
After that, realize what your shortcomings and situations are that make you feel small. Have you had a bad date? Did you disappoint your boss? Are you required to do something beyond your ability?
If you don’t feel good, like letting people down, are unattractive, often forget things, ask your friends if you are that bad. Your friends will definitely praise you and give their best motivation. This is what we mean by self-suggestion like a friend motivating us.
The point is, be a friend to yourself. Don’t suggest bad things, don’t force yourself, and live happily and feel yourself having enough.
Who And How Are The People Around You?
Basically, we ourselves control our feelings and thoughts. However, the people around us also play a role in shaping our emotions, opening our way of thinking, and influencing our feelings.
If you are in a negative environment, it can certainly form negative thoughts for you. For example, you receive too much criticism without you daring to express your opinion. Or in other cases, you are surrounded by people who give up easily and are not enthusiastic, so that will also shape your personality.
Build Positive Relationships
You need to pay attention to whether there are friends, colleagues, family, or relatives who don’t have positive vibes for you. Sometimes they issue unnecessary criticism. You need to know that they are putting out negativity and not criticism at all. They just want to take it out on you.
However, some of their criticisms may contain positive and constructive criticism. If their critique can be a positive energy for you, then consider sharing how you feel with them. Opening good communication is the way to build healthy relationships and avoid feeling lonely.
Start looking at something ahead with an open and positive mind. You can end bad relationships or communication patterns. Relationships that only add negative energy will make your mind worse. Find people who are able to respect your feelings and understand you.
Some relationships have attachments that are difficult to let go of, such as with parents. There’s no need to hesitate not to get in touch with them for a while if they give you bad suggestions. Don’t force yourself on others.
Your own self-assessment is the most important thing to cultivate a positive attitude. Set your own standards and be honest with yourself. Note that any relationship with other people should generate positive energy and keep you from asking “Why am I not good enough?”
Being surrounded by people with positive vibes and mutual respect is a gift.
Do You Think Other People Are Better Than You?
Have you ever had a case where you were put into a box or ostracized because they looked different? For example, if you are not in college, have tattoos on your body, or are in a bad relationship. Do you feel no better than those who treat you?
Maybe that treatment makes you feel inferior and not good enough for them. But if you change your perspective then you will know something else. notice if you felt someone else was better and you felt inferior, would you put them in the box too? We are pretty good people of incomparable size.
Everyone is valuable. Regardless of their education, where they work, or how good their relationship is, or what expensive things they buy. Or in other words, there is no main standard in determining whether someone is good or not.
Now try to say what are the criteria for a perfect person in your eyes. Are they beautiful, well-liked, and have decent jobs? For example, if there is one person who fulfills the criteria of such a perfect person but turns out to have a bad relationship with his parents, has a date that is not fun, and has no time for himself, what if he will feels good enough?
Good and bad are relative. There is no official standard and it is about the point of view of each of us. Everyone has their views on whether we are good for them or bad and that’s not wrong. However, arguing about this would not change anything. We should help each other and provide motivation for the best.
Former American number 1, Jimmy Connors once made a statement:
“My biggest wins are when I go out there and give everything I can. And that’s what matters most to me. When I realized I couldn’t win Wimbledon, I let it go. If what I did in the past wasn’t good enough it’s not a problem because I have tried my best”
What Are The Best Tips To Stop Me Asking “Am I Not Good Enough?”
“I Am Enough” is a simple phrase that is difficult to realize because of our nature which always wants perfection within. The first step to ask yourself is the first action in the goal of achieving a happy life. However, there are some additional tips so that you stop putting yourself down and start living positively.
Sometimes thoughts are not a picture of reality
You may always think about bad things that actually never happened in your real life. Always start seeing things from a positive perspective. Sometimes thinking to avoid disappointment is also necessary but practicing positive thoughts will help you live more comfortably.
Find out who loves you and can share your feelings
Ask if they have also been in your position. Getting support from people we care about will add to a positive relationship. Make a note of who you are, what you like, and what you are good at. Fill it with motivation and constructive words. This way you will stop asking “why am I not good enough”.
Make sure you are in a place where you are with people who always give positive energy. They are priceless treasures. Never hesitate and keep your own feelings for them.
Keep a diary
For some people, keeping a diary will help them release their emotions. You can write it on your book, cell phone, or laptop. Writing a book can help you shed all your emotions and feelings. This will make you understand yourself more and calm down.
Starting a positive life
You can try a positive life such as exercising, eating healthy food, and meditation. Things like this will make you happier than you taking it out on nicotine or alcohol. There are many fun sports and eating fruit that can increase happiness. Therefore, starting a healthy lifestyle can be a solution for those of you who don’t feel good enough.
Change your mindset.
When people fail, they have two choices, don’t give up and take failure as a lesson or sink into sadness. We hope you are able to turn your failures into motivation going forward. Use the mistakes you have made as learning and experience. It doesn’t matter if you are sad when you fail, but don’t let yourself be too long in sadness.
It’s OK to Ask “Am I Not Good Enough?”
Many of us ask if I’m not good enough, and that’s OK. no need to feel that you are alone. Various people have gone through tough times such as difficult pasts, bad work experiences, and bad relationships. We want to thank you for your decision to keep going.
The bright side is, you’ve been through a tough time and are able to survive. You deserve what you want. You deserve to live on and be happy. In addition, you also deserve a bright future. All you need to do is be patient and start the process of living a better life so that you will be “enough” with yourself. Continue to be grateful for all things and don’t push yourself. We will always be waiting for your story on the way to a happy life.
We hope that after you ask the questions above, you will be able to open your mind about how valuable you are. Are you able to get out of your negative thoughts and get on a path where you no longer ask “Am I not good enough?”
